When You’re Tired of Being Strong: Learning How to Let Your Guard Down Safely

For the woman who’s been holding it together for everyone else.

There’s a unique kind of exhaustion that comes from being the strong one—

the one who keeps the peace, holds the family together, manages the crisis, and stays composed even when her heart is quietly breaking.

For many women, especially those who’ve survived trauma, abandonment, rejection, or major life transitions, being strong wasn’t confidence… it was survival.

Strength became muscle memory.

Softness became unfamiliar.

Receiving became uncomfortable.

Support felt unsafe.

But here’s the truth most women never hear:

You don’t have to live in self-protection forever.

Your healing depends on learning when it’s safe to finally let your guard down.

Why Your Guard Went Up in the First Place

Your guard didn’t come from weakness—it came from wisdom.

Your body learned to:

stay alert

stay ready

stay guarded

stay cautious

And it wasn’t because you failed.

It was because you adapted.

Your nervous system protected you the only way it knew how.

But what once protected you may now be preventing the deep connection, softness, and peace you long for.

What Letting Your Guard Down Actually Means

This isn’t about being vulnerable with everyone.

This is about learning to feel safe within yourself first.

Letting your guard down looks like:

not overexplaining yourself

not shrinking to keep the peace

not stuffing down your emotions

not pretending everything is fine

not apologizing for having needs

It looks like giving your heart the space to breathe again.

It looks like telling yourself:

“I don’t have to be strong all the time.”

Your Body Knows When It Feels Safe

Letting your guard down isn’t logical—it’s physiological.

Your nervous system decides safety long before your mind does.

You’ll know you’re safe when:

your shoulders soften

your breath deepens

your voice steadies

your thoughts slow down

your body stops bracing

Healing happens when your body finally feels supported—not judged, not rushed, not dismissed, not ignored.

You Can Be Strong… and Still Need Support

Real strength is not carrying it all.

Real strength is knowing when to let yourself rest.

It takes courage to soften.

It takes wisdom to receive.

It takes healing to trust again.

This journey isn’t about becoming less strong—

it’s about learning that strength and softness can exist in the same body.

If You’ve Been Holding Everything Together… Here’s Your Reminder

You don’t have to keep your guard up forever.

You don’t have to be the responsible one every moment of the day.

You don’t have to hide your exhaustion behind a smile.

You are allowed to wrestle.

You are allowed to feel.

You are allowed to rest.

And you are allowed to be supported.

Your healing begins the moment you stop carrying this alone.

With gentleness and hope,

Terry De Aragon, RN, BSN

Trauma-Informed Holistic Nurse Coach